When Going Above and Beyond Becomes Too Much

A reflection on boundaries, burnout, and the unseen emotional labor of design work..

If you're an interior designer (or any creative professional, really), you’ve likely been there - deep into a project that started out exciting and inspiring, but somewhere along the way became... draining. Not because the design wasn’t beautiful, or the client wasn’t kind. But because the project just. wouldn’t. end..

The Project That Taught Me a Hard Lesson

Last year, I took on a full-scope primary bathroom renovation for a family - after spending almost three years renovating their entire home, space by space. From the beginning, I was excited. They were open-minded, creative clients - totally my lane aesthetically.

They wanted thoughtful storage, timeless finishes, and a calm, luxurious retreat. I poured my heart into the design, sourced special finishes, and worked closely with vendors to bring their vision to life - the typical hard work that goes into creating a beautiful space.

But like many projects in our industry, things didn’t go quite according to plan. There were delays - many of them - from personal issues on their end to vendor complications.

Then came the biggest blow: a major vendor unexpectedly went bankrupt mid-project, costing the client nearly $5,000 and halting progress for months. It was devastating for them, and I felt that deeply.

I did everything I could to help - reached out to dozens of vendors for new pricing, resketched solutions, and worked overtime to find replacements - all without charging for the additional work.

I must admit, this was one of the most stressful times in my business. I felt responsible for my clients losing their deposit...

The Emotional Labor Behind Design

And that’s the part that really sticks with me. As designers, so much of our job goes beyond the scope of "design." We don’t just pick tiles and draw floor plans. We become mediators, vendors’ translators, technical troubleshooters, emotional support systems, and project managers. Most of us do this because we care - deeply - about our clients and the homes we’re entrusted with.

Throughout this project, I secured thousands in discounts, waived markups, and extended hours upon hours of unpaid help. From reselecting tiles to redesigning the closet millwork three different times, I kept saying yes. I kept pushing forward. Because I wanted to see it through and give them a perfect result where - well Ana saved the day again!

When Boundaries Become Necessary

But at some point, I had to ask myself: At what cost to me?

Every week brought a new request. Another change. Another quick favor. And slowly, I started realizing that my time was no longer being respected. What started as going “above and beyond” became the expectation. And saying no? That felt harder and harder.

So, I finally did what I should have done months ago - I set a boundary. I gently told the client that my work on the project was complete, that I was happy to assist with final clarifications, but I couldn’t continue taking on new design tasks and constant changes...

It wasn’t easy. In fact, it hurt. Especially when the response didn’t acknowledge the effort I had poured in. Especially when all the behind-the-scenes work - "the emotional labor" - felt invisible.

The Fallout

The reply was awful - it felt like a stab through my heart.

They said they’d be happy to pay me more, but since I had recommended the vanity vendor who went out of business, they had suffered a financial loss.

And then came the blow:

“Everything you’ve done for us up to date is cancelled because you’ve just rejected us.”

It hurt... oh boy, it hurt. This is why we should never mix business and friendship - it rarely ends well.

After working with them for so long, they began to feel more like friends than clients. But at what cost? Constant favors, discounts, and never-ending free labor.

What I’ve Learned

Here’s the truth I’ve learned, and what I hope every designer reading this takes to heart:

You are allowed to stop.

You are allowed to say, this is enough.
You are allowed to protect your time, your energy, your creativity.

We give so much of ourselves in this profession. And while it’s beautiful to care deeply, it’s just as important to care for yourself - your boundaries, your peace, your worth and your business!

What I now hold onto:

• Scope is not the enemy. It’s the foundation of mutual respect. Stick to it. Adjust it when needed. But don’t abandon it.

• Not every client will see what you’ve done. And that’s okay. The right ones will.

• Closure matters. It’s okay to end a project - even if everything isn’t “perfect.” Done is a gift, too.

If you’re reading this as a designer who's felt taken advantage of, undervalued, or just exhausted, know this: you are not alone. Your work is valid. Your time is precious. And your boundary is not a rejection - it’s a way back to joy in your craft.

Looking Ahead

This year, I’ve had to make some tough decisions. I’ve turned down certain clients (I’ll share more about that next week!) and let go of others entirely.

But here’s to pushing through these last few weeks of the year — and holding hope for a brighter, stronger 2026.

Cheers to 2026 (in 4 weeks)!

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If you have any questions, feel free to email me any time - [email protected]

Love,

Ana 🌸