Hi there, designer đź‘‹
Today is my birthday. I turn 38…wow.
For most of my life, I actually disliked birthdays. To me, they always felt like another reminder of another year gone by. Another year of goals I either reached… or didn’t. Another year of asking myself if I had done enough, achieved enough, become enough.
My entire life was built around achievement.
Chasing the next big thing. Constantly working. Constantly proving myself. Constantly trying to validate my worth through success.
I hardly ever slowed down.
I didn’t realize how unhealthy that mindset was until much later in life. I genuinely believed being overwhelmed, overworked, and endlessly productive was something to be proud of.
When I left corporate, I felt like a failure for a while.
People talked. Some assumed I “couldn’t handle it.” And honestly, for a moment, I started questioning myself too.
But then I had to remind myself of the truth.
I did do everything right.
I went to college and graduated with a 3.8 GPA while working as a supervisor at Swiss International Airlines, full time. I excelled there too. After college, I climbed the corporate ladder, led projects, worked super hard, stayed responsible, stayed driven.
I checked every box.
And one day I remember thinking…
What is this all for?
Why am I wearing exhaustion like a badge of honor?
Why am I constantly drowning in work and calling it success?
So I left. Not because I failed. But because I wanted to slow down.
And after having my son 6 years ago, something inside me shifted completely.
I realized so much of my life had been spent trying to heal the part of me that never truly felt good enough as a child. I never really felt deeply supported or emotionally safe growing up, so I became an overachiever instead. I thought maybe if I accomplished enough, I would finally feel worthy.
But motherhood changed me. My son changed me.
Through loving him, I started learning how to love myself too.
I built my business because I wanted flexibility. I wanted to be present for our little family. Deep down, I also knew I never wanted to return to the 9–5 life again… which honestly was more like 9–8 most days.
Sometimes I think about what life could have looked like otherwise.
Running out the door at 7 AM to catch a train.
Spending all day stressed, juggling endless tasks and projects.
Coming home exhausted just to see my son for an hour or two before bedtime.
Waiting all week for the weekend… only to spend it catching up on laundry, errands, and preparing to do it all over again.
And it hurts to think about sometimes because that’s the reality so many mothers are surviving through every single day.
Today, though, I just want to reflect.
For the first time in a very long time, I’m not sad on my birthday.
I feel grateful. I feel content. I feel exactly where I need to be.
And maybe for the very first time in my life, I truly believe this:
I am enough. I have done enough.
Not because everything is perfect.
Not because I have it all figured out.
Not because I reached every goal.
But because life is happening right now.
In the quiet moments. In the slow mornings. In hearing birds chirp outside.
In laying on the grass watching clouds move by. I used to never notice those things.
I was too busy chasing the next milestone.
And now I realize how quickly life passes when we spend all of it trying to arrive somewhere else.
One thing I’ve learned is this:
It’s okay. Take the best of what you have right now and cherish it - whether you’ve “made it” yet or not.
Celebrate how far you’ve come.
And trust that the troubles you carry today will not last forever.
You’ll find your way. One way or another.
Thank you for being here with me 🤍
Ana 🌸
Interior Design Den
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